Antarctic research stations are so isolated that they have a lingo all their own. (This story was originally published in the 28th annual edition, Uncle John’s Factastic Bathroom Reader.)
Dirt Town/McMudhole
McMurdo Station, the largest research station in Antarctica. Summer temperatures there occasionally rise above freezing, exposing dirt and mud. Stations in colder locations seldom get muddy.
Beaker
A scientist. Everyone who works in Antarctica is either a beaker or support staff.
AOD
Airport of Departure—the place you came from. (The preferred term used to be Point of Origin, but the acronym for that is POO.)
Poppies
Alcoholic drinks made with Antarctic ice cubes. The ice, formed under intense pressure, contains compressed air bubbles that pop in the drinker’s face as they melt.
On the Ice
In Antarctica.
Bolo
Someone who’s been on the ice too long.
Greenout
The wave of emotions a person experiences when they return home from Antarctica and see plants for the first time in months.
Antarctic 10
Someone who might be sexually attractive by Antarctica standards but would be less so back home.
Ching
A “Dear John” letter from a boyfriend or girlfriend back home, ending the relationship.
Ching Club
People who’ve been chinged.
300 Club
People who have rolled naked on the ice, then dashed inside to the sauna, exposing themselves to a 300°F temperature change.
Freshies
Fresh food and vegetables, available only during the short Antarctic summer, when conditions are good enough for supply ships to deliver them.
Sawdust
Dehydrated cabbage—eaten when freshies are unavailable.
Boomerang
A flight bound for Antarctica that has to turn back due to extreme weather or mechanical problems.
Hero Shot
A naked picture taken at the South Pole in temperatures lower than –40°F. (Boots are permitted.)