Here’s another edition of “Ledes We Love,” accounts of openings to news stories that are so good you hardly have to read any further—but you’re going to. Because you must. Today’s entry:

Manitoban Janis Ollson and family are in magazine ads for the esteemed Mayo Clinic for a very good reason: she’s the first person surgeons cut in half, removed much of a cancerous midsection, then put back together with a happy ending.

That is one amazing story. But can I just get an OW-men?