Two of these news items really happened…and one of them didn’t happen at all. We made it up! The answer is at the end of the post.

A.

A team of entomologists that has been studying in the Amazon for nearly a decade has discovered a never-before-seen carnivorous beetle that uses sound to attract prey. The beetles are related to the titan beetle, one of the largest beetles in the world. The yet-to-be named beetle has turned the hissing noise that many beetles are known for into a replication of the sound made by the tiny treehopper in such a way as to lure the female insects to their doom.

B.

In 1934, a dugout canoe, which had been carved out of a large tree, was discovered buried in the mud of Lake Minnetonka in suburban Minneapolis. The canoe seemed to be pretty old, maybe from the 1700s, so it was given to a small museum. Over time, it was passed around until it came to the Western Hennepin County Pioneer Association museum in Long Lake, Minnesota, in 1960, where it remained for the past 54 years. But this week, archaeologists conducted radiocarbon tests on the canoe and more accurately determined its age: It’s nearly 1,000 years old. It’s now recognized as the oldest canoe in Minnesota, and a key piece of evidence regarding how the Great Lakes were historically navigated.

C.

According to Dr. Billy Griswold, who practices veterinary medicine at the Emergency Animal Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona, he’s seen a proliferation of animals who arrive with sick stomachs because they’re high on marijuana. “There are more serious side effects and longer treatments associated with that,” he said. “We have seen a couple fatalities.”

Want more of the patently untrue? Check out Uncle John’s Fake Facts. (Really!)