Printers Row Publishing Group:

Blog

Really Silly Wrestling Characters

February 26, 2016

Professional wrestling is already pretty silly, but the “sport” outdid itself when it introduced these really silly wrestling characters.
WWF

SERGEANT SLAUGHTER

At the peak of the first Gulf War in 1991, the WWF brought in this villain, an Iraqi-flag-waving Saddam Hussein sympathizer.

GIANT GONZALES

A failed NBA basketball player, Gonzales was a lanky 7’7″ and not muscular enough to wrestle. Solution: He wore a rubber suit covered with fake hair and painted muscles.

THE GOBBLEDY GOOKER

He was a giant turkey, complete with feathers, a beak, and wings. When the character debuted, he popped out of a huge egg.

DOINK THE CLOWN

In tag-team matches he’s assisted by “Dink the Clown,” an identically dressed dwarf clown.

AMISH ROADKILL

He wore plain black Amish clothing, a black hat, and a long beard. He lost most of his matches, because the Amish don’t believe in fighting.

THE JUICER

A steroid addict? No—the Juicer was introduced in 1989 to capitalize on the movie Beetlejuice. Like the movie’s title character, the wrestler sprayed “death breath” (green mist) and attacked with Silly String.

RED ROOSTER

With dyed scarlet hair, he flapped his arms like wings and chicken-danced around the ring, screaming “Cock-a-doodle-doo!”

THE GENIUS

Coming to the ring wearing a graduation cap and gown, the Genius appeared to be highly intelligent, speaking in a haughty accent and peppering his sentences with big words…and then he beat people up.

ISAAC YANKEM, DDS.

An evil dentist, dressed in a white smock and face mask, who threatens to remove his opponents’ teeth.

IRWIN R. SCHEISTER

Somebody everybody could fear: an IRS agent. He wore glasses, a shirt, and a skinny tie, and hit people with his briefcase.

THE POET

He read poetry before fights…and then beat people up.

AKEEM THE AFRICAN DREAM

Akeem dressed, talked, and acted “black.” He wore a traditional African dashiki, spoke in 1970s jive, and his sidekick was a street pimp named Slick. He was portrayed by a white guy.

ROADBLOCK

He looked like a road. He had a yellow “dead end” sign painted on his stomach, hit opponents with a barricade, and dressed in a black bodysuit (to look like pavement).

GOLDUST

With his skin was spray-painted gold, Goldust wore a sparkly robe and a long blond wig and intimidated opponents by licking their faces.

SEXUAL CHOCOLATE

A deep-voiced, smooth-talking ladies’ man based on the South Park character Chef.

THE BOOTY MAN

On his way into the ring, he dropped his pants and shook his bare buttocks (while wearing a flesh-colored prosthesis).

BROTHER LOVE

A stereotypical Southern evangelist who preached “the word of love”…and then beat people up.

 Uncle John's Funniest Ever Bathroom Reader

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
Pinterest
Follow by Email
RSS

Leave a Reply

avatar

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  Subscribe  
Notify of

Subscribe to our Mailing List