In 1755, famed critic and writer Samuel Johnson released A Dictionary of the English Language. Compiled over a period of nine years, it became the standard English dictionary until Noah Webster released his in 1828. But it’s anything but “standard”—Johnson’s definitions are often witty, personal, subjective, and quirky.

Politician: 1. One versed in the arts of government; one skilled in politicks. 2. A man of artifice; one of deep contrivance.
Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland appears to support the people.
Sock: Something put between the foot and the shoe.
Universe: The general system of things.
Distiller: One who makes and sells pernicious and inflammatory spirits.
Fart: Wind from behind.
Jogger: One who moves heavily and dully. 
Dull: Not exhilarating; not delightful; as, to make dictionaries is dull work.
Alligator: The crocodile.
Network: Any thing reticulated…at equal distances. 
Reticulated: Made of network. 
Monsieur: A term of reproach for a Frenchman.
To worm: To deprive a dog of something, nobody knows what, under the tongue, which is said to prevent him, nobody knows why, from running mad.
Shabby: Mean; paltry. [A word that has crept into conversation and low writing, but ought not to be admitted into the language.]
Antipodes: Those people who, living on the other side of the globe, have their feet directly opposite to ours.
Etch: A country word, of which I know not the meaning.
Novel: A small tale, generally of love.
Patron: Commonly a wretch who supports with insolence, and is paid with flattery.
Melancholy: A disease, supposed to proceed from a redundance of black bile; but it is better known to arise from too heavy and too viscid blood: its cure is in evacuation, nervous medicines, and powerful stimuli.
Ruse: A French word neither elegant nor necessary.
Lexicographer: A writer of dictionaries; a harmless drudge. 
X: X begins no word in the English language.