George Washington, Shame On You!

April 20, 2010

It seems that our first president, that paragon of virtue who could not even lie about cutting down a cherry tree (although he apparently had no problem going around randomly cutting down cherry trees), was a bandit borrower of books:

Founder of a nation, trouncer of the English, God-fearing family man: all in all, George Washington has enjoyed a pretty decent reputation. Until now, that is.

The hero who crossed the Delaware river may not have been quite so squeaky clean when it came to borrowing library books.

The New York Society Library, the city’s only lender of books at the time of Washington’s presidency, has revealed that the first American president took out two volumes and pointedly failed to return them.

At today’s prices, adjusted for inflation, he would face a late fine of $300,000.

It should be noted that this story is from a British news source, so it should be taken with a grain of sore loser salt.

And holy cow—we’ve just found a terribly incriminating photo of the Father of our Nation about to engage in one of his notorious book thefts! Join us after the jump for this shocking, never before seen photo!

He’s got a sword in his hand! Who’s going to say no?!