And we here at the Bathroom Readers Institute know that you, dear readers, could not live without mind-blowing bits of information like this fed to you on a nearly constant basis. You would literally shrivel into dessicated, knowledgeless scraps of uninteresting and possibly foul-smelling human detrius if you did not have continuous access to scintillating bits of info like, “Today is the 300th day of the year.” You would. We know it, and you know it. That’s why we’re here. We know what you need. And we care. We really, really care.

That is all.