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The *Other* JFK Conspiracy [Updated]

November 22, 2010

Today is the anniversary of the assassination of the 35th president of the United States, John F. Kennedy.

Sounds like a perfect time to bring an old conspiracy theory back to life. From Uncle John’s Fast-Acting, Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader

CONSPIRACY THEORY: John F. Kennedy wasn’t assassinated—he’s still alive!

DETAILS: In early 1963, President Kennedy became convinced his enemies (the Mafia, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, and elements within the CIA) were out to kill him. So he enlisted a group of friends and government agents to fake his death and then hide him overseas, should an attempt on his life be made. On November 22, 1963, Kennedy was shot in Dallas by Lee Harvey Oswald, a pawn in a murder plot hatched by Castro, the CIA, the Mafia, FBI chief J. Edgar Hoover, and Robert Kennedy (who had presidential aspirations and wanted his brother out of the picture). Contrary to news reports, Oswald’s bullets didn’t actually kill Kennedy—they left him in a coma. The president was secretly flown to a hospital in Poland. When he finally emerged from the coma in the late 1960s, he was crippled, frail, and mildly brain-damaged. Ever since, Kennedy has lived on the Greek island Skorpios in a hospital owned by Greek tycoon Aristotle Onassis (who also aided in the cover-up by pretending to be Jackie Kennedy’s second husband). Proof? In 1971 the European tabloid Midnight ran a photo supposedly picturing Kennedy, Jackie, and Kennedy’s two nurses going for a walk on Skorpios.

So is it true? Check back in a couple of hours…and we’ll have the rest of the story…

Update: Okay, we left you waiting long enough—here’s the rest of the story:

TRUTH: Midnight faked the photos and the story. American author Truman Capote gave the tale a wider audience when he presented it as his own idea in a 1971 newspaper article. (In Capote’s version, Kennedy never emerged from his coma and lived in Switzerland, not Greece.) Capote later retracted the story, admitting that he had intended it as a silly piece of fiction. Nevertheless, the theory persists to this day.

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Jeffrey Gary Clinard
Jeffrey Gary Clinard
November 22, 2010 11:12 am

For the people who believe that story, I have a nice patch of oceanfront property for sale right here in Las Vegas. It’s close to the strip, so you can spend your days surfing and getting a tan, and your nights going to shows and gambling.

Paul W Hopkins
Paul W Hopkins
November 22, 2010 1:02 pm

He’s actually living in Eau Claire Wisconsin with with Elvis, Michael Jackson and Jim Morrison. They all work part time at the Burger King.

Charly
Charly
November 23, 2010 7:03 am

Do you have a reliable source on that? Like the Weekly World News or Fox Media?

I mean you can’t just throw allegations like that you have to back this up.

I would have to agree with Paul … there probably living a boring life somewhere in the states, collecting there royalties (maybe expect for Mr Kennedy) and drinking by the porch.

Jerry the Minion
Jerry the Minion
January 22, 2015 12:35 pm

nahhh, he was abducted by aliens and they fixed him up. he is perfectly healthy, physically 4o years old and spends his days getting fucked up in a bar on an intergalactic resort with marilyn monroe, elvis, and his 9ft tall alien wife…..ahahahahahaha….. he aloso was said ti have a huge champagne party in the very same bar when jackie o bit it in 1994. “ding dong the bitch is dead…….” they all sang. Ialive in a wheelchair on skorpios when that bitch was alive? i doubt that. she never gave a shit about him. after all, she was fucking… Read more »

Amanda
Amanda
September 8, 2015 9:27 pm

Animatronics…..

Eric
Eric
December 20, 2016 12:00 pm

The story made the big time in the November 6, 1990 issue of “Weekly World News” of which I own a copy. The WWN offered a reward of $1 million to anybody who could prove that JFK had not died and had been, or was (as of 1990) living on Skorpios or in Poland.

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