Three news items. Two are weird, and also true. One is weird…and not true at all. Can you spot the fake? Check your answer at the end.
Christmas has Santa. Valentine’s Day has Cupid. Flag Day has…Zombie-Killing Betsy Ross? It does if the Flag Day Foundation has its way. Hoping to publicize the patriotic holiday, the FDF has launched a viral campaign to make Zombie-Killing Betsy Ross the newest holiday mascot. A series of animated YouTube videos depict the designer and creator of the first American flag fighting off the undead, walking corpses of enemies of America from the 1700s up through Osama Bin Laden.
A ten-year-old boy from Norway, wanted to go visit his grandparents. They live more than 60 miles away, so his parents would have had to have driven him. But they were asleep, so the boy took matters into his own hands—he tried to drive himself. The boy made it through five miles of snowy roads before he ran the car into a ditch, where he was discovered by a snowplow driver. Bonus: He’d taken his baby sister along, because he couldn’t just leave her at home alone with sleeping parents. Double bonus: The boy told the snowplow driver that he wasn’t a child, but that he was a “dwarf” and didn’t have his driver’s license on him because he’d left it at home.
A British body piercer dating a fellow named Chopper loved him so much that she put ink to skin, and got a tattoo that read “Chopper’s B****” on her arm. Alas, their romance was dealt a blow when Chopper announced that he was moving to Alaska. She tearfully put Chopper on a plane and went home to nurse her lonely heart. But then she found out that Chopper hadn’t gone to Alaska at all. He was still in England, and living with another woman. The body piercer was stuck with a tattoo of the name of a two-timing jerk. Or was she? The woman took a scalpel, cut off the patch of skin bearing “Chopper’s B****”, removed it with tweezers…and sent it to Chopper, wrapped up like a present.
Want more fakes? Check out Uncle John’s Fake Facts. (Really!)