So two of these bizarre news stories really happened…and one didn’t happen at all on account of we made it up. The truth is revealed at the end of the post.
The 27th Annual Easter Eggstravaganza in Bonita, Louisiana, turned bloody when one of the white rabbits in the petting zoo “just kinda went crazy,” said Elder Boyd Humphreys of St. Mark Missionary Baptist Church. “The Boineau twins were holding this one bunny and having their picture made, and the thing just turned and chomped down on Mackenzie’s thumb. And then her sister Madison jumped up and tried to run, but boy that thing was fast.” When the rabbit’s owner, retired schoolteacher Bonnie Delray, tried to intervene on the children’s behalf, she suffered a bite severe enough to require “several stitches,” according to the local report in the Morehouse Parish Times-Ledger.
In May 2012, Cynthia Ruddell was visiting her mother’s property in Estacada, Oregon when she was attacked without cause by a neighbor’s pet duck. Rudell attempted to back away from the bird, and in the process, fell to the ground, sprained her elbow and shoulder, and broke her wrist. Rudeel was filed a $275,000 lawsuit, accusing the duck’s owner, Lolita Rose, of failing to control her pet duck, as well as a failure to “warn or otherwise inform neighbors of her duck’s dangerous propensity in attacking individuals.”
A woman in Tennessee found more than just eggs while hunting for Easter eggs in her backyard with her son: she found a dead body. Tara Hanouskova of Knoxville said she has no idea how the man got under her deck, but an autopsy found that the man had been dead for two weeks. She admitted she had noticed a foul smell, but couldn’t figure out what it was until, during the egg hunt with her three-year-old son, she saw tennis shoes in the crawl space under her deck. Fortunately, her son didn’t notice, and police were “very respectful. They tread lightly. My son has no idea what happened.”
Want more of the patently untrue? Check out Uncle John’s Fake Facts. (Really!)