The Fart Machine That Farted on France

July 31, 2014

Invasions. Plagues. Jerry Lewis. The fart gun. Poor France.

Fart GunOver the weekend of July 27, 2014, the latest in a long string of calamities struck France. An eccentric British inventor named Colin Furze traveled to the White Cliffs of Dover, and got his latest gadget all set up. And then he unleashed it across the Strait of Dover, aiming it at the coast of France, a mere 21 miles away. His weapon: a gigantic fart gun.

Furze’s bizarre invention, “The World’s Biggest Fart Machine” is 16 feet tall and actually, and completely on purpose, resembles a giant pair of buttocks. It utilizes a pulse-style valveless engine based on the technology that once powered German rockets. When Furze fires up the machine, it spits out “flaming farts” that are also ear-splittingly loud.

Before he set off to attack France from the Cliffs of Dover, Furze told members of the international press that his invention was so loud that lots of French people would hear its explosive flatulence. He was inspired by a line from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which a group of British knights get into an argument with an ornery French guy who yells, “I fart in your general direction!” at them.

But did anybody in France actually hear the machine? While a crowd of cheering British people watched Furze fire the gun, a colleague of his was waiting on the other side of the strait. According to him, it definitely worked. He could hear what he later described as “muffled mumbling” from across the water.

This isn’t the first time Furze has built a crazy contraption. While he works as a plumber by day, Furze has built drivable toilets and we’ve written about his exploits before: Earlier this year, he created a pair of retractable claws just like the ones used by Wolverine from the X-Men.

Love weird inventions? Check out Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Weird Inventions.