Are you dreaming of a weird Christmas?
“A Spaceman Came Travelling”
In 1975, a decade before his hit “Lady in Red” was released, the British singer Chris de Burgh, wrote this song theorizing that the Star of Bethlehem was a spaceship, and it carried a traveler from outer space who was a guardian of humanity. In the song, the alien visits Mary to tell her that she is going to give birth to Jesus. The alien is present for the birth, too, but then leaves, promising to return in 2,000 years.
“What Can You Get a Wookiee For Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb)?”
Only the most devoted Stars Wars fans have ever heard the 1980 album Christmas in the Stars: The Star Wars Christmas Album. It’s mostly a story for children about robots in space (like R2-D2 and C-3PO) making toys for Santa Claus to deliver. It also includes some songs, like this silly number about how Wookiees like Chewbacca are very hairy and also difficult to buy presents for. You won’t recognize his voice under a lot of studio tricks, but the singer is Jon Bon Jovi. It’s the first song he ever sang on professionally.
“Here’s Your Sign Christmas”
Bill Engvall is a comedian best known for the “Blue Collar Comedy Tour” and his “here’s your sign” bit. In short, Engvall theorizes that stupid people who do stupid things should receive a yellow hazard sign they have to carry around to alert others to their stupidity. (Example: “I was flying a kite and a guy walks up and says, ‘y’all flyin’ a kite?’ Here’s your sign.”) In Christmas 1998, Engvall recorded “Here’s Your Sign Christmas.” Over a backing track of familiar Christmas melodies, Engvall recites Christmas-themed takes on his froutine. Example: “I took my son to the mall to see Santa Claus. The woman in line behind me says, ‘Hey is that Santa Claus up there?’ I said, ‘No, ma’am, it’s a Kenny Rogers stunt double.’ Here’s your sign.”
Mirror Image wasn’t a real band, but a collection of studio musicians hired to bang out some songs for a quickie disco album. That album: 1978’s Yuletide Disco. What says Christmas more than disco? Set to a disco beat and generic disco instrumentation were familiar songs like “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” and “Good King Wenceslas.” An instrumental version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” seems baffling, because that song’s fun arguably lies in the repetition of the previous verse after every new verse is introduced. Without the words, what’s the point?