Here’s the latest in toot technology.

Flat-D

This unique product debuted about a decade ago and, according to its designers, Brian and Myra Conant, it can neutralize just about any fart. The “D” in Flat-D stands for “deodorizer” and it consists of a sticky pad that attaches to the back of the wearers’ underpants. When the user cuts the cheese, Flat-D’s charcoal strips absorb the unpleasant scent. Better yet, the pads are thin, flexible and discreet.

CH4

Much like an Apple Watch, the CH4 can track an important bodily function. Instead of monitoring pulse or activity, it keeps track of farts. The CH4, which is slightly larger than a Fitbit, attaches to a belt and is meant to be worn over the buttocks (it can also be stuck in a back pocket). Whenever the user farts, the CH4 makes a note of it and sends the information to their smartphone. Why would anyone want a product like this? The creator claims that it will help them note not just when they fart but will also enable them to figure out what type of food caused the flatulence in the first place so they can avoid it in the future.

Fart Watch

Despite receiving an “Audience Choice” award at least year’s WatchKit Hackathon, Apple’s gatekeepers told the Fart Watch designers that it was too similar to other software already available in the App Store and refused to give it their stamp of approval. It would have allowed users to remotely control their iPhone via an Apple Watch and make it unleash a virtual tidal wave of fart noises. The 21st century Whoopie Cushion could have been a prankster’s dream but it wasn’t meant to be. Undaunted, Fart Watch’s designers have vowed to come up with a different product compatible with the fancy new timepieces.