Antarctic research stations are so isolated that they have a lingo all their own. (This story was originally published in the 28th annual edition, Uncle John’s Factastic Bathroom Reader.)
McMurdo Station, the largest research station in Antarctica. Summer temperatures there occasionally rise above freezing, exposing dirt and mud. Stations in colder locations seldom get muddy.
A scientist. Everyone who works in Antarctica is either a beaker or support staff.
Airport of Departure—the place you came from. (The preferred term used to be Point of Origin, but the acronym for that is POO.)
Alcoholic drinks made with Antarctic ice cubes. The ice, formed under intense pressure, contains compressed air bubbles that pop in the drinker’s face as they melt.
On the Ice
Someone who’s been on the ice too long.
The wave of emotions a person experiences when they return home from Antarctica and see plants for the first time in months.
Someone who might be sexually attractive by Antarctica standards but would be less so back home.
A “Dear John” letter from a boyfriend or girlfriend back home, ending the relationship.
People who’ve been chinged.
People who have rolled naked on the ice, then dashed inside to the sauna, exposing themselves to a 300°F temperature change.
Fresh food and vegetables, available only during the short Antarctic summer, when conditions are good enough for supply ships to deliver them.
Dehydrated cabbage—eaten when freshies are unavailable.
A flight bound for Antarctica that has to turn back due to extreme weather or mechanical problems.
A naked picture taken at the South Pole in temperatures lower than –40°F. (Boots are permitted.)