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Medieval Folk Cures: Take 2 Bunny Gallstones and Get Some Rest

February 9, 2016

We found these actual medieval folk cures in an old book about English medical practices in the Middle Ages. So try them at your own risk.
Medieval Folk Cures: Take 2 Bunny Gallstones and Get Some Rest

To treat baldness

Rub some horse urine onto your scalp. If horse urine isn’t available, dog urine can be substituted.

mummyFractures, abscesses, paralysis, epilepsy, nausea, sore throats, and ulcers

Can be cured by eating ancient Egyptian mummies. Though not a common practice these days, in medieval England it was quite the fad. Wealthy Europeans acquired the mummies via a trade route from Egypt. However, the fad ended when those wealthy Europeans discovered they weren’t actually eating ancient mummies, but recently murdered slaves.

To treat baldness

Rub some horse urine onto your scalp. If horse urine isn’t available, dog urine can be substituted.

To eliminate jaundice

Drown exactly nine head lice in a pint of beer and drink it. Continue with this treatment every morning for a week.

To ease arthritis pain

Wear the skin of a donkey.

For deafness

Warm up a mixture of a rabbit’s gallstone and fox grease and then pour it into your ear. (Don’t make it too hot, though!)

To treat a child’s case of whooping cough

Feed some milk to a ferret. Whatever milk the ferret doesn’t drink, give to the sick kid.
Medieval Folk Cures

Got gout?

Boil a red-haired dog in oil, add some worms and some bone marrow from a pig, and then apply the mixture to the affected area.

To stop an asthma attack

Coat some baby frogs and/or live spiders in butter and swallow them.

To cure leprosy

Take a bath in the blood of a dog.

Venereal disease

Can be prevented by rubbing your genitals with vinegar. If that doesn’t work and you still get VD, try wrapping your genitals in a freshly killed chicken.
Uncle John's Funniest Ever Bathroom Reader

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