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I Toast You!

April 28, 2016

On a trip to Ireland, Uncle John spent many an evening going from pub to pub collecting traditional toasts (and many a morning after, begging for aspirin). Here are some favorites.
Traditional Irish Toasts
May you have food and clothing, a soft pillow for your head; May you be forty years in heaven, before the devil knows you’re dead.
For every wound, a balm. For every sorrow, a cheer. For every storm, a calm. For every thirst, a beer.
May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out.
Here’s health and prosperity, to you and all your posterity, And them that doesn’t drink with sincerity, That they may be damned for all eternity!
Gentlemen, start your livers!
May we live to learn well, and learn to live well.
May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want.
Here’s to warm words on a cold evening, A full moon on a dark night, And the road downhill all the way to your door.
Success to the lover, honor to the brave, health to the sick, and freedom to the slave.
May the Lord keep you in His hand, And never close His fist too tight on you.
Old wood to burn, old books to read, old wine to drink, old friends to trust.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, but never catch up.
Champagne to our real friends, and real pain to our sham friends.
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
May I see you gray, combing your grandchildren’s hair.
May the people who dance on your grave get cramps in their legs.
Health and long life to you, The woman of your choice to you, A child every year to you, Land without rent to you, And may you die in Ireland.
Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader

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