March 13: Ear Muff Day
It’s not really cold enough to wear ear muffs anymore, but nevertheless, this marks the day in 1877 that Chester Greenwood patented his simple but ingenious headgear that kept ears warm.
March 17: Submarine Day
As in the submersible watercraft used for deep-sea exploration and intercontinental warfare, not the delicious long sandwich. The U.S. Submarine Force was created on this day in 1900. (Fun fact: the first submarine was built surprisingly early, in 1720, for the Russian military.)
March 19: Poultry Day
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood / And sorry I could not travel both…” Oh wait, it’s Poultry Day, not Poetry Day. (Our mistake.) This is a day to celebrate chicken, turkey, duck, goose, and other low-fat, high-protein food fowl.
March 23: Melba Toast Day
The shelf-stable, pantry-staple, ultra-crunchy cracker was invented on this day (in either 1897 or 1901, sources conflict) by legendary French chef Auguste Escoffier. After initially calling it Toast Marie, Escoffier change the name to Melba Toast, because opera singer Dame Nellie Melba ate a ton of the thin crackers when she became severely ill and was on a strict diet.
March 27: National Joe Day
Throughout the last century of so, Joe has been one of those ultra-common first names—so much so that it gave us the expression “Regular Joe.” But it also gave us the expression “Joe Cool,” so show some appreciation to the Joes you know, be they regular, cool, or even G.I.
March 29: Smoke and Mirrors Day
“Smoke and mirrors” implies a state in which things are not quite as they seem to be—smoke, and especially with mirrors, are very effective in obscuring the truth. Perhaps this is the day to take a good hard look at things in your life that seem too good to be true… or to at least ponder the “big questions.”