It’s almost time for the baseball season to start up again, so that means one thing for Uncle John: bizarre, delicious, and bizarrely delicious ballpark concession stand items.

• Poutine is a distinctively Canadian food, but it’s a wonder it hasn’t widely caught on in America, because it’s stuff we all love down here. Traditional poutine consists of a mound of French fries, topped with cheese curds, and smothered in gravy. You can get that at Rogers Centre at a Toronto Blue Jays home game (or a variation made with three different kinds of pork)…or you could get the brand new Churro Dessert Poutine. Instead of fries, it’s a bunch of miniature churros. And instead of cheese and gravy, it boats with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce.

• Fenway Park is also offering a poutine variation for Boston Red Sox fans. The Lobster Poutine Stak starts with fries, which are then topped with lobster chunks, cheese chunks, and creamy lobster bisque.

• Tacos? Great! Hot dogs? Great. Tacos and hot dogs, together at last? Even better. Served at Miami Marlins games is the Taco Dog: A Nathan’s frankfurter along with chili, pepper jack cheese, salsa, cabbage, and jalapeños, all rolled up inside of a tortilla.

• Another Mexican-inspired item is the Apple Pie Nachos at Coors Field. As the Colorado Rockies play, fans will be able feast on this sweet-and-savory dessert made up of cinnamon-and-sugar-coated tortilla chips topped with apple pie filling, cheddar cheese, caramel sauce, and whipped cream.

• The Kansas City Royals don’t play many morning games at Kauffman Stadium, but if McDonald’s can have all-day breakfast, so can the ballpark. The Sunrise Dog is a that baseball staple of a hot dog topped with all the best parts of an unhealthy breakfast: fried eggs, bacon, cheddar cheese, and sausage gravy.

• Another bizarre creation from Kauffman Stadium: the Pulled Pork Patty Melt. It’s a pulled pork sandwich with all the trimmings, including onions, bacon, two kinds of cheese, and jalapeños. But instead of a bun or bread, it’s served between a couple of funnel cakes.

• There are, however, some healthier options at the stadium. PNC Park in Pittsburgh will offer Toasted Tofu this season. First they marinate tofu in a citrus and tamari blend, and then top it with spicy Sriracha mayonnaise and mint cabbage slaw. It’s all piled high on toasted, gluten-free bread.