Real questions asked by people on vacation. (This article first appeared in Uncle John’s Old Faithful Bathroom Reader.)

…in Everglades National Park:

“Are the alligators real?”

“Are the baby alligators for sale?”

“What time does the two o’clock bus leave?”

…at the Grand Canyon:

“Was this man-made?”

“Do you light it up at night?”

“So is that Canada over there?”

…in Denali National Park:

“What time to you feed the bears?”

“What’s so wonderful about Wonder Lake?”

“Can you show me where the Yeti lives?”

“How often do you mow the tundra?”

…in Mesa Verde National Park:

“Did people build this, or did Indians?”

“Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?”

…in Yellowstone National Park:

“Does Old Faithful erupt at night?”

“How do you turn it on?”

“When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?”

…at Carlsbad Caverns:

“How much of the cave is underground?”

…in Yosemite National Park:

“Where are the cages for the animals?”

“What happened to the other half of Half Dome?”

“Can I get a picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?”

…in Glacier National Park:

“When do the deer become elk?”

“When do the glaciers go by?”

…in Sutter’s Fort State Historic Park, Sacramento

“We cook over the fire here.” “Don’t your pans melt?”