You have to be a little good to even make it into the major leagues. But once you’re there…all bets are off.
Marv Throneberry
The 1969 World Series champion New York Mets were nicknamed the “Miracle Mets” because they’d had one terrible season after another up to that point. The franchise’s first year in existence, 1962, still ranks as the worst record every put up by a modern major league team: 40-120. Playing on that squad was “Marvelous Marv” Throneberry, who enjoys the honor of being about the worst player on the ’62 Mets, the worst team. Among the Mets starting lineup, he scored the fewest runs, stole the least bases, and had the second-lowest batting average. He was just as bad, if not worse, as a fielder: he committed 17 errors at first base for a fielding percentage of .981—a major league record. At least he hit a few triples…except umpires reversed it when they realized he forgot to touch both first base and second base on his way to third.
Mario Mendoza
Mendoza was so bad that the standard by which hitters are judged to be good or not was named after him. If a player is below the “Mendoza Line,” it means he has a woeful batting average of .200 or under. After somehow spending eight years in the majors, with Pittsburgh, Seattle, and Texas, Mendoza amassed a batting average of just .215 (and with four home runs).
Bob Uecker
Perhaps because he’s enjoyed a long, successful career as the radio announcer for the Milwaukee Brewers, an actor (Mr. Belvedere, Major League), and self-effacing about how bad of a player he was, he doesn’t enjoy the same “honor” as Mendoza. But Uecker was actually worse. From 1962 to 1967, he was a catcher for the Milwaukee Braves, Philadelphia Phillies, and St. Louis Cardinals. (“I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it.”) Over that time, he hit exactly .200—or exactly on the Mendoza Line.
Joe Shlabotnik
He’s a fictional character, but no list of bad baseball players would be complete without the comically bad Shlabotnik—Charlie Brown’s favorite baseball player in the Peanuts comic strip. Of course he’s Charlie Brown’s favorite—he’s the adult version of Charlie Brown, which is say an unlucky sad sack. In 1963, he’s mentioned in Peanuts for the first time when Charlie Brown is upset his favorite player, Shlabotnik is sent down to the minors after hitting a batting average of .004 (one hit all year). He also popped out in the bottom of the ninth, but still circled the bases like he’d hit a game-winning home run. After his playing days are over, Shlabotnik takes a job as manager of the minor-league Waffletown Syrups. His tenure lasts a single game.
