All American Christmas Carol (2013)
It’s the umpteenth adaptation and variation of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol, in which the Scroogey central character learns the true meaning of Christmas after being visited by three ghosts. This is the first and only one about a selfish mother who lives in a trailer park.
Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)
This movie poses the question, “What if Jack the Ripper were around in the 1980s and he targeted only people in Santa Claus costumes?” In this low-budget Christmas slasher movie, a woman whose father was done in by the Claus killer and her flautist boyfriend have to save the day…and Christmas.
Christmas Icetastrophe (2015)
The good news: It’s going to be a white Christmas! The better news: It’s going to be a white Christmas all over the entire world. The bad news: It’s all because meteorites hit the Earth and it messes up the environment so much that it starts off a new Ice Age. All anyone wants for Christmas is to survive.
Santa with Muscles (1996)
With his white-blond hair and beard, famous wrestler and ‘80s icon Hulk Hogan kind of resembles Santa Claus…if Santa Claus were a wrestler from the ‘80s. In this comedy, Hulk Hogan plays a bodybuilding supplements salesman who has to run from the police when a game of paintball goes awry. He flees to a mall and tries to escape by putting on a Santa suit, but then he gets hit in the head, gets amnesia, and then believes he’s the real Santa.
Jack Frost (1996)
In another tale of grisly Christmas horror, a serial killer on his way to prison gets struck by a truck full of genetic material, which makes him a super powerful snowman. He then embarks on a murderous quest of revenge.
Jack Frost (1998)
Somehow there are two odd holiday movies about Jack Frost released within two years of each other. In this one, a blues musician (Michael Keaton) who never spends time with his kids, dies in a car accident but is reincarnated as a snowman so he can hang out with his kids more.