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So Long, Brookstone

August 7, 2018

It would seem that Brookstone itself could use a sit in one of its massage chairs about now. The mall store, famous for its expensive vibrating leather chairs and ever-changing assortment of wireless speakers and other gadgets has filed for bankruptcy and will close its stores. Here are some of the oddest items that the chain, founded in 1965 as a catalog operation by Pierre de Beaumont, ever peddled.
Brookstone Brankruptcy

Fizzics Waytap Draft Beer System

This $100 device promised instant draft beer at home. Did you pour in the ingredients or use some kind of special pod to make instant beer? Not exactly. It required users to put a can or bottle of store-bought beer in the back and “science” would take it taste like a beer on tap.

Devil Horn Headphones with Removable Horns

These red and yellow headphones look just like cartoon devil horns, like what a person would wear on Halloween. (The ears even glow yellow when in use.) Also, if you felt ridiculous, you could take the horns off and wind up with a pair of $150, novelty-free headphones.

Solafeet

Brookstone always sold an array of electronic foot massagers and foot baths. This looked like one of those, except instead of offering water and stimulation, it sported powerful lights that gave feet a nice suntan.

Bluetooth Pom-Pom Beanie

It may look like a warm, fuzzy, wool winter hat, and it is that. But try not to get it too wet with snow and rain because there are wireless headphones embedded on the inside.

Internet Message Center

This Wi-Fi enabled device displayed a user’s incoming emails, pertinent tweets, and text messages. You know, like a smartphone. Or a computer.

Golf Ball Waterglobe

Ironically, one can’t very well golf in the snow. But you can let visitors to your office or den know how much you love golf with this $25 snow globe that has an oversized golf ball and falling flakes of fake snow in it.

Sightmark Ghost Hunter Night Vision Binocular

Finally, “night vision” goggles for regular consumers, similar to the ones they use in the military. Utilizing the combined power of (among other things) infrared technology and AAA batteries, users could use it to see in the dark well enough to, as the name of the product may suggest, track down spirits and specters.
 

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